Monday, December 30, 2013

SuperQueeros! for December 31, 2013

What with the holidays falling on Wednesdays this year, comics have been coming out on Tuesdays last week and this week. So, on the last new comics day of 2013, let's see what's coming out that features... SuperQueeros: all that's gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, transexual, and queer in comics today!

(Also, please pardon the lack of formatting or pics. I'm writing this from my boyfriend's iPad and my tech-savvy, at-risk youth is pretty far behind me.)

Batwoman #26 Kane family secrets are coming to light and Batman is guest starring. With the revelation that Bruce and Kate are cousins, what do you want to bet the secret is Wayne-related?

Rachel Rising #22 Rachel finally gets to her lockbox below main street and we get answers!

Teen Titans #26 The revealation of Kid Flash's evil past continues!

Artifacts #33 No sign of Finch in this issue, but there is a preacher and a serial killer!

Monday, December 16, 2013

SuperQueeros! for December 18th, 2013

Oh, man, did you know Locke & Key was back? And ending! Plus, this week has the latest chapters in all your fav sagas: Saga, FF, (Adjectiveless) X-Men, Wonder Woman,... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Locke & Key: Alpha #2
This is issue is called "The End", and I think that they mean it! Say good-bye to Duncan Locke!

FF #15
Tong and the crew have to conquer an all-powerful Dr. Doom! Can they do it???

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

SuperQueeros! for December 11th, 2013

The 'queeros are a little spotty this week, but for Whovians in the audience, have I got the book for you! SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Chew #38
It's Family Recipe Part 3 and, from the looks of the cover, we'll be catching up with Mike Applebee, the world's premium cibopathic, morally ambiguous gentleman bear.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

SuperQueeros! for December 4th, 2013

It's the end of the year and the end of one of this year's most awesome books. Fearless Defenders, we hardly knew ya! Say goodbye to Dr. Riggs, Valkyrie, and Ren this week, and hello to all this week's usual... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Fearless Defenders #12
In this, the final issue of the unjustly cancelled Fearless Defenders, there's a new cosmically powered teammate, Caroline LeFey meets one of her parents, the Defenders make a stand against the Doom Maidens, AND we get some resolution to the whole Dr. Riggs/Valkyrie thing. That seems like a lot for a single issue of a comic book... Hopefully it won't be 32 pages of exposition like Infinity: The Hunt was last week!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

SuperQueeros! for November 27th, 2013

Doctor Who is all over the place this week, Saga explores its 'queeros, and Avengers Arena kills it's last students! Plus a whole bunch of other... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Doctor Who #15
Did everyone watch the 50th anniversary special??? Wasn't it EXCELLENT? Anyway, back in comicsville, it's the Doctor and Oscar Wilde against that alien gunman! How much wit can one alien take???

Saga #16
I think last issue we found out that the reporter duo are queer! Or, at least, that they are a couple who express the same gender. Alien sexuality is so treacherous to try to decode... But I say they read queer! Now what are their names, again?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

SuperQueeros! for November 20th, 2013

It's real life superqueero Marc Andreyko's first issue at the helm of Batwoman, Rachel Rising doesn't let death take their only self-identified 'queero, and it's Wiccan vs. Hulkling as Hulkling's ex tries to save Hulking from the spell he cast to save Hulkling! Because #comicbooks! SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Batwoman #25
It's the end of J.H. Williams III's last storyline, under the pen of Marc Andreyko. How will the Battle of the Bats turn out??? [Also, I know we all ADORED J.H. (talent like a supernova that one!) and we're all reading the work he's doing on the new Sandman, but anyone who read Manhunter knows that Andreyko is AWESOME. Plus, it's a queer writing an eponymous queer character! It took Wonder Woman more than 60 years to be penned by a woman; the switch in writer means that Kate Kane only took a tenth of that time! (Though this point would hold up better if Marc quick changed into a lesbian... Still, it's very exciting!)]

Monday, November 11, 2013

SuperQueeros! for November 13th, 2013

I'm guessing that the overflow of Batman: Year Zero into Batgirl this week means no Alysia Yeoh, so we've only got two SuperQueero titles this week, and they're both from Marvel! SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

The Fearless Defenders #11
It's Amazons Ahoy this month as we get some more backstory for Hippolyta when the team visits New Amazonia! Plus, it's Ren Kimura's first mission as a terrigen-mutated metahuman, her first mission with her new team, AND her first mission with Dr. Annabelle Riggs, her new looooooooove interest! But in the land of super-hot warrior ladies, will Ren and Annabelle make their love connection, or will they be too distracted by the paradise around them?
Avengers Arena #17
Last we left our heroes, Apex and Deathlocket had just awakened Old-Darkhawk (Arcade, WHY did you let this kid LIVE???), which was fortunate since they had also just been captured by Arcade! Upstairs, the remaining contestants are continuing to kill each other, oblivious to the potential change in Dungeon Master below them. How much longer can Arcade keep ahead of this steadily deteriorating situation? And who will be the Andrew Jackson of this story, taking a life after the war is over?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

SuperQueeros! for November 6th, 2013

Following on from a month of endings, we have a brand new SuperQueero title beginning this week! That's right, it's Northstar's new Amazing X-Men! SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Amazing X-Men #1
As is customary in comics these days, the death of a classic hero heralds not inaction, but the beginning of a quest. Usually the quest is for the perished hero zherself, but for Nightcrawler of the X-Men the quest will be undertaken by his teammates: Northstar, Storm, Iceman, Firestar, Beast, and Wolverine have all banded together to get back the fun-loving demon-elf, and it's fixing to be AMAZING. No news yet on how this will affect Northstar's marriage...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

SuperQueeros! for October 30th, 2013

Man, when will great, queer-inclusive titles stop ending?!?!?! This week we say tah-tah to Ultimate Comics X-Men. Hopefully, though, this good-bye will just be until the title relaunches post-Cataclysm. Until then, though, stay tuned for... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!
Ultimate Comics X-Men #33
The whole World War X concludes with Kitty taking down Jean. I assume that will take 5 pages and then we'll have denouement for the rest of the issue. Fingers crossed that Colossus gets a better happy ending!!

Monday, October 21, 2013

SuperQueeros! for October 23rd, 2013

Astonishing X-Men, J.H. Williams III's run on Batwoman, and now Supurbia: All the best books of the last three years seem to be coming to a conclusion this month!!! This week we wrap up the second volume of Grace Randolph and Russell Dauterman's amazing and innovative take on the superhero supergroup with Supurbia (Vol 2) #12. Plus a who cadre of more run-of-the-mill 'queeros!

Supurbia #12
The swan song of the tightest, most consistently mind-blowing book of 2013! 
  • Hella is supremely powerful now, but also full-on Sith. Is she going to devour her neighbors like the Dark Phoenix at an all-you-can-eat solar system? 
  • Ruth's robo-plot has been exposed, but her army's invasion plan is already in it's, possibly irreversible, end game! Is the Supurbia-verse about to go all Wildstorm: World's End
  • Sovereign was broken by his defeat at the hands of his romantic rival, so how will he rally now that his amour is the arch? 
  • It seems that Gio and Paul are back and more together than ever: Will we see a happy ending for this dysfunctional and perfect power couple??? 
  • And, the real question on everyone's minds, will the ineffable Zari bring to bear her famous pluck and save the day, Cammi-style?

Monday, October 14, 2013

SuperQueeros! for October 16th, 2013

The end of an era for Batwoman and the beginning of one for Wonder Woman this week in... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Batwoman #24
It's Kate vs Bruce! The battle we've been waiting for all year has arrived! But will Kate throw her punches? Will bruce understand what's going on? And how will J.H. and crew wrap the story now that they're leaving the book???

Morning Glories #33
With the dramatic reveal of Vanessa's past and future, will we be catching up with any more "dead" characters this is issue? Or just Jun?

Wonder Woman #24
Now that there's a new god of war, how will the DCnU be affected???

Invincible #106
Invincible takes on the Ultra-Daddy!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

SuperQueeros! for October 9th, 2013

I declare this week the week of amazing covers! Take a look inside to see the duds sported by this week's... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Astonishing X-Men #68
The end of an era!!!! Liu bids adieu to her seminal line-up (a veritable rainbow-squad of X-men!) in this, the final issue of Astonishing X-Men! But with X-Factor ending on hints of a reboot, can we hope that Northstar, Kyle, Karma, and Liu will get the same treatment and be teaming up again soon under a new #1??? We can only wish (loudly and with our wallets)!!!

Afterlife with Archie #1
Oh my gosh, I am so excited for this! I'm not sure if Kevin Keller will be included (They'd be fools not to! FOOLS!), but "Riverdale meets Walking Dead"is the most brilliant thing since Kevin met Clay! Fingers crossed that the follow through is as wicked-cool as the premise!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

SuperQueeros! for October 2nd, 2013

Welcome to October! Villains Month is over, so we finally get to see someone of our DC favs again this week! Plus, the end of Mara!!! And maybe the re-beginning of Zoe in Morning Glories??? SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Monday, September 23, 2013

SuperQueeros! for September 25th, 2013

Finch, Daken, Billy, Teddy, Kevin, Clay, David Alleyne (STILL SQUEE)... It's a week of classic favorites for this round of... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Life with Archie #32
Kevin has made the jump and is now a character in BOTH alternate realities! While his new senate position is off to a rocky start in the Veroni-verse, he's using his position of power to help give old friend Cheryl Bloom a platform in the Betty-nuity. But what is Clay up to?

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

SuperQueeros! for September 18th, 2013

There's a new book in town (if only for the week)! The Doctor has picked up one of the world's most famous 'queeros, Oscar Wilde, in order to pepper his next adventure with Gallifreyan-level wit! Also, Supurbia turns it up a notch, Morning Glories no doubt puts another notch in its belt of murders, and Ultimate X moves a notch above the States when it gets its first gay president (of Utopia)! All in a week's work for... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

SuperQueeros! for September 11th, 2013

Since DC is all villain-y this month, I took the opportunity to look around and found a 'queero in Terry Moore's Rachel Rising! Plus, Bloodstone finally gets the spotlight again in Avengers Arena and we may get some progress on his storyline in this week's... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Rachel Rising #19
Rachel is locked in battle with Lilith over her hometown of Manson, but luckily she's got her Aunt Johnny and johnny's gf Carol to back her up. With a some 'queero's in reserve, what could go wrong?

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

SuperQueeros! for September 4th, 2013

What with (straight) supervillains taking over the DCnU this month, we have a slim week in 'queero comics. This week it's all Image (and all boys!) for... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Chew #36
One of the biggest mysteries around precogs is their deaths. If you can see the future coming, why do you follow the path of an untimely demise, seers??? Well, this issue may just be an answer to that question as the recently deceased (As of issue #29) Toni Chu takes front stage from beyond the grave!

Invincible #105
Invincible is starting up again from their new status quo. Much like the reboots of continuity resets, this is a great "jumping on point", which I guess means that there won't be TOO many spoilers if you are making your way through the trades now!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

SuperQueeros! for August 28th, 2013

It's a mixed bag this week, but we DEFINITELY get the continuation of last month's SHOCKING Young Avengers! Plus Astonishing X-men and many more... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Young Avengers #9
The solicit for this issue reads:
We wanted to just write "Screaming! Screaming! Screaming!" for this solicit, but we're told we need boring old facts. :(
...and truer words were never spoken! Well, aside from the dumb facts bit. I have been SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING for the past month over Prodigy's kiss stealing, and I'm going to be SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING over to this book this month to see just WHY Hulkling looks so mopey!

Astonishing X-men #66
The coolest cover EVER. Stuff happens as this AMAZING series winds to its close! D:

Avengers Arena #13
So, we know Molly and Ant-man are trying to find there way into this book (bringing along girlfriends Julie Power and Karolina Dean) and it seems like a lot of these dead characters are coming back in one form or another (Mettle is now a Doombot, basically), so the body count of this book looks like it might be topping out. But who knows! Maybe they'll kill your fav in the final scene!

Monday, August 19, 2013

Lunar Ellipse ΩΩΩ Teen Wolf S03E12

And here we finally are! Four days after we all watched the episode (well, those of us with season passes on iTunes who were quick enough to snatch it up when the download posted early [and the people who downloaded it from them]), we can finally talk about it! So let's reminisce:

SuperQueeros! for August 21st, 2013

Try as I might, I could only locate three queer titles this week for... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Batwoman #23
She made a deal with the devil - or at least a skeleton and his hot right-hand woman - and now Kate has to clean up the mess she helped to pull down on everyone's favorite crazy-town, Gotham!

X-men #4
With Primer done, we now get vampire teen mum shenanigans! But what about Bling!'s big secret???

Wonder Woman #23
Diana returns to England to save it from the First Born's reign of violence!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

SuperQueeros! for August 14th, 2013

It's the last issue of Demon Knights! Be sure to check out how it all ends when you pick up the latest issue of Supurbia, Batgirl, Fearless Defenders, and 4 other comics featuring your favorite... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Supurbia #10
With Sovereign out of commission and Eve cowed by guilt, the team has lost it's heart and it's... bazooka? Anyway, they're going to have to pull together when they split up to rescue the kidnapped Zari and the captured Agent Twilight! And what can Hella do now that she's trapped back in her ex-boyfriend's clutches? #kickbutt

Alpha Pact œ Teen Wolf S03E11

It's the second-to-last episode and the final parent is falling into place: this episode is all about Blue Eyes falling into the Darach's clutches and Scott having to live with his choice of defecting from his own pack to the Alpha Pac(t)! Also, all your 'shipping dreams come true!!!! (ish.)
Finally! Though Sterek might want to choose somewhere softer than an elevator... 
Or not. ;-P

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Overlooked ππ Teen Wolf S03E10

So the preview is basically entirely the contents of the last episode, which effectively means we're about to get a Part II.

Woah! And they jump right into the action! There's a Nor'easter attacking the hospital, and its effects are killer this ep! Also an unbelievable special effect, Peter is caring for his neice! Doctor Mom gets a cute scene where she reacts to her almost-murderer not being dead liek he used to be.

And speaking of unbelievable, Jenny-rach shows up at chez Hale to try and turn Derek against his pack! Aw, and Stiles is all cute, sad tears about Officer Dad! Anyway, we continue the special effects trend with some bullet speed mistletoe dust that reveals Jenny-rach's real form. Der-der gets to make his third expression in the entire history of the show: ew-gross-I-just-kissed-The-Master!
But srsly. Ew.

Der's about to T.K.O. his ladyfriend, so she gasps out a bargain: she'll save Cora's life if the teen wolves let her keep her own. Of course, Cora was Jenny-rachs insurance policy: the girl is suffering from some mad misletoe-sis. 
Evil Head-cock of EVIL!

On the way to the hospital, Jenny-rach is all, "Der-bear, I'm still a Scoob, even though I murdered ppl and stuff!" In Stiles' jeep, S&S discuss how Jen-jen is definitely, completely playing them like a fiddle. At l'hôpital, Doctor Mom introduces our time limit: in 30 minutes until the van comes to evacuate Cora. Peter completes our merry band when he reveals the obstacle that will test our team's timeliness: the Alpha twin(k)s!

While the t'wolves take on the twin(k)s ("Ethan! Aiden! I know you're in there! You have to stop!" - Scott McCall, completely not grasping the difference between an actor and his mutant-conjoined-twins-body character), Jen-rach makes a dash for it. She's cut off by Cali and Deucalion, and she only escapes by air-bending Cali out of her elevator to safety.
Avatar Aang, y'all!

Back at school (the perfect place to not-evacuate post-murder recital!) Allisaac blah-blah about how Lydia isn't in this episode and that they have to get to the hospital set because that's where all the camera's are. Blue Eyes walks up and invites himself along. #RUDE

Doctor Mom is bored waiting for her storyline to start, so she decides to do her usual sleuth-ery and finds a pointy cane! It's attached to a blind evil guy who knows her name! But what could it MEAN????

The twin(k)s, separated after getting hit with a lamp ('lectricity! Also, Shirtless Boy Count is at 3.) reveal that Jen-rach and the Alphas are racing against time to murder-tize each other. Speaking of, Jenny catches back up to the boys and is all, "LAWL, soz, wanna protect me again?" Doctor Mom comes on the intercom to announce that she has 10 more minutes left to live and Jen-rach is all, "The laffs keep coming! What a Blufferstein! Blah blah True Alpha blah."

Peter eats a Roc's Feather and he and TrAlpha distract the twin(k)s while the rest of the crew makes a run for it. Derek and Jen-rach stash Stiles and Cora in an ambulance, but then get chased into ANOTHER elevator by Cali.
Shoulda worn shoes, grrl.

Then Deuc cuts all the power... and sets Doctor Mom free. Into a dark hospital full of murderous, adrenaline-feuled werewolves. 

Then the writers try to tell us that Stiles and Cora would be an interesting couple and Cora is like, "I'd rather be dead!" #agreed Stiles does a cute monologue and then realizes that the water in the cup is shaking and that the T-rex is loose.
Ducking is for suckas

Fenneck Werewolf, or
Fennecks Better on the Floor

Scott drops Peter off at the Stiles' Truck for Useless Werewolves, then goes and gets strangled by the twin(k)s until...
he's saved by Doctor Mom! Woooo! ("If a defibrillator is introduced in the first act..." - Anton YourMomkov)

Back in the elevator, Jen-rach pulls an awesome and, instead of trying to last-night-on-Earth Derek, she decides to mind-eff him and talk about which face is her real face! Creepy! #ItsTheCowlBruce

Cutting between the elevator and Deuc and Cali in the morgue we find out that Jen-rach was Cali's emissary(/girlfriend?) who she almost-but-not-quite murdered so she could join Ennis in murder-pack. (Good priorities, Cal. Mark Saling look-a-like >> friends and family) Anyway, Jen-rach says that she owes Derek big time because his murdering of his gf Paige on the roots of the magic druid tree was the virgin sacrifice she needed to survive! #recycling

Then it gets kinda cool (mostly because Haley Webb is a completely spellbinding actress): Jen-rach reveals that she used mistletoe as her tool because it was overlooked in the myth of Baldr and became a weapon, and she, an overlooked victim of the Alphas, plans to avenge her pack using an overlooked detail of werewolf metaphysics: they have no powers during a lunar eclipse.

Allison, freshly relevant to the ep, hatches a decoy (Allison=Jen-rach) plot that involves Isaac FaceTiming her from her dad's car? Also, Cali jumping out of a window.

Argent Shoot-Out!

Jen-rach escapes!

Stiles figures out "Guardians"

...and after Jen-rach takes Doctor Mom... 
Scott defects to Team Alpha!

And our last shot? Doctor Mom and Sheriff Dad in the sacrifical root cellar of evil, the now-chopped-down, soon-to-be-restored-from-a-5-fold-triple-sacrifice n'bhutan (sp?)! (Now we know why Lydia was always drawin' that tree!)

Preview time!! Jen-rach comes for Blue Eyes! Derek makes up a way to use his Alpha contacts to heal Cora! Hopefully someone also prints out whatever celtic word they've been saying for that root cellar of death too...

Monday, August 5, 2013

SuperQueeros! for August 7th, 2013

OMG, It's Kevin's first kiss! Plus the trade paperback of an awesome anthology and a whole lot more... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!
Kevin Keller #10
Kevin Keller kisses a boy for the first time! TOO CUUUUUUTE! Also, the cover is a commission requested by my friend Nathan at MegaCon (he's the gay featured in this article about superhero tattoos)!

The Movement #4
With Rainmaker in the mix, there's more than one sort of storm breaking on the beseiged police department! Plus, Mouse's secret origin!

Earth 2 #15
Green Lantern falls victim to the hounds of Apokolips!

Artifacts #30
Finch is front and center as she's distracted from her primary mission by a begging Judge. What help does he need?

Prophet #38
Not sure if the children of Badrock are the charges of John Ka, but whoever's responsible for them better get their butt in gear before they're turned into living weapons!

Stormwatch #23
The Kollective's secrets are uncovered!

All New X-Men #15
Mystique will probably be in this book, but it's mostly about Cyc losing his gf. #yawn

X-Factor #260
The episodic nature of these final issues make me think that we won't be getting any Rictor or Shatterstar in this issue, but Polaris and Quicksilver do duke it out!

No Straight Lines: Four Decades Of Queer Comics (TP)
In case you missed this awesome anthology on your tablet or in hardcover, you can be the proud owner of the trade paperback starting this Wednesday! It's really funny, inspiring, a lil' sexy, and all around awesome!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Girl Who Knew Too Much øøø Teen Wolf S03E09

From the preview it looks like the eponymous girl may be Lyds! From the beginning scene it looks like it won't be Deputy Finally-Gets-A-Line (Graham)! And we get a Danny sighting right off the bat!
Those guns! ::swoon::

Graham, like a total n00b, follows a dragging body into the boys locker room. Does she not KNOW how many people die in that locker room? The only way to survive that room is to have a six pack and a look of naïve confusion. She has neither and bites it in this super crazy prophetic time loop. Oh, and that Darach is soooo a zombie.
Jaw articulation is for suckarZ!

After Lydia and the Scoobs find the body, Sheriff Dad and Stiles make up some backstory for the Deputy they just killed. Hey, her name is Tara! Maybe she'll come back as a lesbian vampire! 

Back at the Argent house we get some payoff for that whiney coddling from the first ep: Allison takes advantage of Blue Eyes' inability to enforce rules and skips school to dress like Black Canary, grab her shiv, and bag her Oliver Queen.
I dub thee Allisaac.

Which is totally fine because Jenny is biting it as an English teacher. She does give us both the word of the day AND the theme of the episode, though: idioms! Speaking of idioms, Stiles and Scott (S&S) decide to dodge past Aiden (twin(k) number straight) and see if they can play on Ethan's (twin(k) number gay) budding love for Danny('s nipples) to get some info on their druidic serial killer. 

Speaking of those loving brothers, Aiden's gives an ultimatum to his bro: now that they know that Danny's a nudnik in the plot department (aside from his metaphysical research papers), either break up with him or Tall, Dark, and Handsome is going to become Tall, Dead, and Faceless! 

Str8-y gets to keep his nookie, though. Lydia is ever the player, especially when S&S ask her to play Aiden while they go after Ethan. For the first time this season, though, Lydia and Aiden talk to each other, and it's this rapid fire play-by-play of the whole season that reveals (1) Lydia and Aiden know about each other's positions in the rival packs and STILL make out on the reg (though not for the last week. #RIPBoyd) and (2) the Alphas know all about that time that Der-bear and Boyd tried to off Lydia because the Alphas were totally fanwolfing over last season and watched every ep twice.

Before Aiden can get Holland's autograph, though, Derek runs past the closet and scratches his vengeance symbol on the window.
Totes Scares!

Actually, it's not Derek, it's Cora, steppin' up to the plate and providing the moody Hale feud-fueling! She gets a few shots in on Aiden and Ethan is alerted to the battle via sympathetic twin(k) pangs. Speaking of twin(k) pangs, he's just been revealing his Secret Origin to S&S: the twin(k)s were "bitches" from an abusive, ultra-violent pack who by-their-powers-combined murdered their abusers. Anyway, Aiden slaps Cora with a barbell disc and Lydia makes break-up face at him  .
Okay, NOW I think you're a monster.

Back on Blood Brothers Stealing Girlfriends, Isaac and Allison are getting totes flirty and uncover that Blue Eyes has his own magic celtic knot on which he has written all the categories of sacrifice victims: Virgins (check!), Warriors (Check! Thanks, Mr. Harris!), Healers (Check!), Philosophers (Is this the cycle that we're on? That was probably the whole reason we got backstory on Tara helping Stiles with his homework), and Guardians (Tara seems much more like one of these, but this probs meant to be the Scoobies).

Cora lays down the guilt on S&S and Lydia for being lazy do-nothings, then jetd to go have a concussion. Across campus, Boy-Hale meets up with his lady friend to discuss how traumatized they are from having watched Boyd get murdered in front of their eyes (and on their claws) last week. Then they make out.

Scott decides that Ethan was a dead end, so he goes to get some answers out of Morrell. She says that she's the only thing standing in between the Alpha pack and the Scoobs, that Deuc is gunning to turn Scott into a baddie, and that Deucalion's talking in idioms Scott has no hope of understanding.

Meanwhile, Stiles is driving Cora back to Castle Hale when he gets a call from Allisaac telling him that the Guardians, like his dad, are teh next targets and that he better come out to Sheriff Pop tout de suite! Unfort, no one gave Dar that message, and he vanishes/murders the history teacher at BHH.

At school, Lyds freaks when she trances over to the kidnapping scene. She comes out to Jenny and the rest of the school as "psychic" (read "crazy"). 

At the Stalinski house, Stiles (with Cora in the room) tells his dad he's about to explain a big idiom to Sheriff Dad. He tapes a bunch of different colored Post-Its to some chess pieces to represent the different vocations of the Beacon Hills monsters. Sheriff Dad plays message board and asks a whole bunch of questions about last season's plot holes. While trying to wolf-out and prove that this show is not a complete fantasy-wet dream, Cora succumbs to her concussion and falls into a coma.

At the Argent Penthouse, Allison decides that her daddy is taking after his old man and becoming eViL!!!! She decides to take the fight to her father at... some abandoned something. Allisaac find out that Blue Eyes has playing Mission Impossible 8: New Moon and trying to save the Darach victims by shooting lots of hand guns bang!

Everyone threeway calls and decides that the last third of the episode will take place at Boyd's memorial concert where another teacher is gonna get murder-tized. Look out, Jenny!

The Stalinskis make a scene at the hospital in a bid for an Emmy (A++ for actings!) and Ethan makes Danny promise to find him when everything goes to hell later. Because he definitely doesn't have a homocidal look-a-like.
A++ 4 teh cute-xorz!

Lydia tells Scott she wants to accept her weirdo powers and join the field squad to try and save the teacher-target before yo is murdered and- WHAT?! The rival couple to Allisaac is Sclydia?!?!

Meanwhile, Der-Der is super sadxorz/PTSD at his sister's bedside...
Is lil' sis dying?

...and Doctor Mom and Sheriff Dad are once again teaming up to be confused in teh hospital away from all the action. ...I mean research a lead.

The concert starts and the conductor is way hot.

Lydia gets a text from Aiden and goes off to meet him. Unfortunately for her, Aiden tells Ethan that he has lost his phone. Now the mind-effs start in earnest. Lydia hears some chanting (surprise the orchestra are Darach zombies!) and... Jenny is the Darach!!! Mind-eff #1!!!!!

Jenny goes in for the kill, but Lydia grabs the garrote and does a killer Yellow Ranger DinoScream alerting every werewolf in the city to her plight and position. Which means mind-eff #2...
She a BANSHEE! (No, for literals, she is! Jenny tells her so!!!)

Her scream powers underdeveloped, Jen-Jen is unfazed and ties her up, tightening the wire around her throat and pulling out a knife when... MIND EFF #3 LYDIA IS SAVED BECAUSE THE PIANIST IS ACCIDENTALLY EXSANGUINATED BY A BROKEN PIANO WIRE TO THE THROAT WELCOME TO FINAL DESTINATION 17: NEW MOON!

Mind eff #4 is for Sheriff Dad: he is the first to answer the Banshee's cry, and as a reward he gets a knife to the chest and then sees a wolfed-out Scott coming to Lydia's rescue. Jenny dispatches Scott like ain't no thing, so Sheriff Dad tries to distract her with his research. Evidently, our beloved English teacher died YEARS ago from Darach-type wounds! (Editor's Note: Aw! That means that he believed his son's ridiculous story about monsters!) That means that Derek got jiggy with this guy:
They say you date people as attractive as you think you are. 
Something you want to tell us, Der-Der?

Oh, and then Sheriff Dad gets kidnapped.

PREVIEW TIME! Looks like the coin toss for Big Bad has been decided and Deucalion gets to be the villain that Jenny/Darach and the Scoobies team up to murder! She's using her magical healing to guarantee Cora's survival in exchange for immunity in the team-up, so I guess maybe that barbell disc was made of mountain ash wrapped in wolfsbane and mistletoe? Either way, Jenny gets SO MANY butt-kicking-ly awesome lines next week!