Duet In The Key Of Batshit Crazy

In high school I was bitten by a radioactive debate team captain. The incident gave me the ability to have lengthy arguments with myself about tedious, trivial subjects. This is also known as "youneedtogetafuckingfriend" disease and in most cases is treatable with therapy coupled with actually accepting invitations to social engagements.

Today, I will be discussing (with myself) whether the character of The Alchemist from my (and also my) favorite television show, The Venture Brothers, is a positive or negative portrayal of a gay man in the media. Let me begin.

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Diary of a Diseased Wench

Being a geek is a double edged 1d10 two-handed sword with +4 against born again orcs: on the one hand, a lifetime of rolling around naked on a pile of Alan Moore titles has left me physically frail with no immune system and a psychosomatic dependence on orange soda. On the other hand, when all that inappropriate hugging and kissing of platonic friends that I'm so fond of finally bites me in the ass and puts me on bed rest with the infectious disease of the week, I have many more means of distraction at my fingertips than your average infected bag of mostly water, and in some twisted way can find a sort of productivity in catching up on TV shows, video games and the occasional picture book with the word shapes.

After coming down with flu, I took some time off from my hectic schedule of bemoaning my life choices and painstakingly crafting the facade that I've got my shit together so I can give my father the impression I've risen above all the neurosis and mistrust of others he instilled in me in a child because somehow that will mean that I've "won" so I could recharge and cleanse myself of the toxins I more than likely invited into my body with open arms. This involves lots of time playing the Wii, catching up on Season 3 of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and writing "I will not mention my inappropriate obsession with Princess Peach on the SB Podcast" over and over on Hello Kitty stationery. In that time, I had lots of time to think, ponder, contemplate, and other shit I say the booze and weed"helps me do". And I've come with a modest list of questions, observations, and comments that I had nowhere else to post.

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Adult Swim Titans Up

While recovering from a weekend that involved me wandering around Folsom Street Fair in a pink prom dress drinking whiskey from a can, I had the chance to catch the premiere of [as]'s newest series, cynical Voltron spoof Titan Maximum. And I have to say, shit just got real yo. This is one of the best pilots for an AS show I have seen in a long while.

Robots. A monkey. Disturbingly attractive claymation sexpots. This show has all the essentials you need to feel less ashamed about watching cartoons in the middle of the night instead of doing your homework or going out on a date. With a voice cast featuring Rachel Leigh Cook and Billy Dee "Stop Calling Me Lando" Williams and a writing staff of Geoff Johns and Zeb Wells, this show has the potential to make up for that bullshit Adult Swim pulled on us with Korgoth of Barbaria.

I don't say this like at all, ever, but I hope they market the shit out of this show. Action figures and t-shirts and video games that people will by solely for the novelty. If the pilot is any indication of what we can expect for the rest of the season, then [as] needs to start putting this bitch out to work the streets. There is no reason a show like this needs to be canceled mid-season because it doesn't bring in as much money as Family Guy reruns.

While we're on the topic of [as], I can't decide if I should be Alice from Superjail! or Dr. Girlfriend from The Venture Brothers for Halloween.

Discuss.