Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Patrick Stewart to be Knighted

Patrick Stewart, who is best known for his performance as Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation is reportedly slotted to be knighted by Queen Elizabeth II on New Year's Day. I wonder if there is any irony in a British actor being knighted for a career best known for playing a Frenchman.

At least the soon-to-be Sir Patrick can finally be equal with Sir Ian McKellan whenever they decide to make that X-men prequel featuring a young Xavier and Magneto. Here's hoping that they'll hire Dame Judy Dench to play Destiny and we can have a cornucopia of british nobility!

Givin' Up That Mary Jane

We scoffed at the rumors about the new ending to Watchmen. We scoffed at the news of Heath Ledger as Joker. We comic book fans/moviegoers might be the scoffingest fandom in all of geekery, becoming that stock character that we loathe most in science fiction, the arbitrary skeptic (well sure, aliens and ghosts and time travel I can believe exist, but cuddle parties?). Perhaps all the picture books with men in tight pants shooting lasers all pew pew from their eyeballs has exhausted our imagination. Or that some websites' layouts are programmed in such a way that merely looking upon them causes a chemical reaction in our brains that's similar to being neuralyzed, and every time we go on IMDB or IHeartChaos we lose a little more of the memories necessary to maintain the jaded disillusionment that would prevent us from paying to see the very same movies we hexed and cursed on our blogs. I'm not willing to rule this out as a possibility. Joe Lieberman just declared war on Yemen . As far as reality is concerned, all bets are off.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Hit-Girl Trailer is KICK ASS!

I was browsing the intertubes and came across this gem of a movie trailer, for KICK ASS. Despite the inclusion of Nicolas Cage, this trailer is full of so much win, I can hardly stand it.

Northstar To Be Featured In Nation X, Art and Story by Gay Comic Artist!

Northstar. For queer comic fans he is the longest running joke in Marvel. Since his groundbreaking coming out in 1992 (after a series of unfortunate events including a short stint as a fairy and adopting an AIDS baby who then died), Northstar has occupied an interesting place in the hearts of gay comic book fans. On one hand he was a trailblazer, a shining rainbow beacon in Marvel's four-color world; on the other hand, he was generally misused and abused by many writers throughout his tenure with the X-men, and also remained perpetually single.

Northstar's reintroduction into the ranks of the X-men (after he was killed by Wolverine, resurrected by a clan of evil ninjas and then forced to attack his friends and allies) briefly introduced Northstar's first canon boyfriend, Kyle. This hanging plot thread is finally being addressed in January's issue of Nation X. And even better, mainstream comic's first openly gay superhero is in the hands of openly gay comic artist and writer, Tim Fish.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas from Scarlet Betch!

Hope everyone is having a lovely holiday! And for those of us who don't celebrate Christmas, I hope the Chinese food was good last night! :P

Funnily enough, my Chinese family went to a Chinese restaurant for Christmas (which was very untraditional for us) and were surprised to be celebrating Christ's birth/PRESENTS surrounded by a boat load of Jews. Oh the irony.

Also, remember that Marvel and DC both shipped their comics this week, and are skipping distribution next week. So make sure you get your last pull list for 2009!

Happy Holidays!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Comic Book Poetry Corner #1

Having graduated from college, I am now living the art student's dream life; unemployed, living on donated food, and praying for the sweet release of death. While God gets around to filling my order, I've decided to write terrible poetry for loved ones in lieu of thoughtful gifts and cards with a recent picture of me looking like I'm trying to hard to look like I'm not trying too hard to be smug. I thought it would be a nice holiday gesture to give you a poem to you, Scarlet Betch. So here's Comic Book Poetry Corner. If you like it (or are vocal enough in your dislike of it) there will be more.Let the angst begin!

Chartreuse is the color of loneliness by Bruce Banner
I am a ticking time bomb
of self-loathing and apathy
painted green like the bloated
rotting corpses of little lovers
thrown into the sea to feed
the insatiable appetite of human cruelty
That wretched monster is my inevitable friend
and with every car or building full of people
I heave at it I am drawn closer to it,
like bitter enemies drawing towards the
mistletoe because their hate is their love
and the fire of hate is warmer than the
candlelight of fleeting affection
My heart is a benevolent scientist
mercilessly doused in gamma radiation
And I want to smash him

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Superqueeros! for December 23rd, 2009

You know the schtick: I scour the solicitations each week for LGBTT-SAP...etc. characters and you guys make your pink dollar known. If you let me know when I've missed somebody, I'll edit the entry faster than Barry Allen on a sugar high!

Speaking of lesbians, this is Ladies Week at your comic book store! Hot on the heels of Bling!'s coming out last week in the pages of X-Men: Legacy, we have a jumbo week of SIX queer and queer-adjacent titles, all of whom heavily feature our female forces. So let's see who's gaying it up this week:

Detective Comics #860
The end of an era!!! This is the last issue of J.H. Williams III's AMAZING run on the interiors of this book, so if you haven't picked up a copy yet, this is your last chance (before the trade)! And for those of us who are now devout Williams-ites, make sure you don't miss out on what is sure to be another stunning issue. Batwoman dons her costume for the first time in this, the third piece of her origin story. My prediction? AWESOME. And for those of you still weeping over Williams' departure, rest assured that he'll be doing the cover art well into 2010, if not longer. Just think of him as Kate Kane's Jo Chen. #artistgasm

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Willow (One-Shot)
Speaking of Jo Chen, she's got half the covers of this month's BtVS issue, a Willow one-shot! I didn't use it on the side bar because I couldn't find a small version of it online, but rest assured that there is plenty of snake-goddess-on-Willow action basically everywhere in the book. Willow has gone through some of the most drastic changes (or at least drastically mysterious) since the end of season 7 and it's in this issue that we get some answers. I am more turned on by the prospect of this issue than if I woke up next to X-Factor's Rictor! #notreally #omgwillow!!!

New Mutants #8
Necrosha is scary! It's the New Mutants + Warlock (+ Doug?) vs. The Hellions + Feral!!!?? (+ Doug?) in the ultimate issue of the New Mutants' run in the Necrosha event. As a book whose characters have a history of tying up their loose storylines with angst-y, explosive deaths, this event is working the C-list cameos like there's no tomorrow and it is BETCHIN'. Expect blood, fire, resurrection, death, and Catseye! #fierce

Wonder Woman #39
Oh Gail Simone. Why are you so amazing? Evidently basically everyone in this book is a liiittle gay plus we get an explanation of Wonder Woman's new powers (wikipedia is failing me on this so much rgt now!) and a reveal of her newest nemesis! All in all, I think this is gonna be a rawkin' issue and, given Simone's penchant for working half-naked beefcake into her work, INFINITELY rewarding! #awesomecovertoo

X-Men: Legacy #231
DESTINY!!!!!!!!!!! Man, this week does not let up with the heavy hitter lesbians, does it? Destiny is far and away the best conceptualized, best written, and most mysterious lesbian character besides Batwoman (imo) and guess what: she's back! Expect three issues of tender moments and all-out brawls as Destiny works her way out of Selene's clutches to protect her daughter, Rogue. And, given Carey's consistent use of queer characters as guest stars, expect some cameos from your fav LGBT muties. #anissueofonlyanoleplz #DESTINY

Gotham City Sirens #7
I debate every month whether to add this title, but I've read some recent reviews that have been pretty positive and the three-issue panorama cover is BEAUTIFUL, so I'm giving Harley and Ivy the last slot in this week's Superqueeros. The focus has been on Harley for the past few issues, but now it's time for a little Selina and that is always #hawt!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Laziness Disguised As Artistic Curiosity (See Also: Story of my Life)

While browsing through Borders, trying to decide if I should use my $10 gift card to get 1 person a respectable gift or to lose ten friends, I stumbled across a copy of Marvel's Pride & Prejudice comic book. P&P (haha! Why do I know what that means?) is very popular with nerds. It's been made into a comic book, rewritten to include zombies and ninjas, and I know at least five nerds who went to see the movie even though they were single and nobody coerced them to do it. With the recent release of the Alice In Wonderland comic, I've been looking at my personal library and thinking "hmmm, what books do I want to read again, but don't want to bother with all that text?" So I've produced a modest list of books that I feel could use a more visual component (or "dank pictures" for those of you without useless art degrees).
Someone Make These Books Into Comic Books So I Can Continue Putting Off Upgrading My Cell Phone Plan

Friday, December 18, 2009

Scarlet Betch Episode 12: "Emma's Every Woman"

We're back with another episode of Scarlet Betch! We gear up for the holiday extravaganza with more X-titles: Uncanny X-men, Dark X-men, and Wonder Woman: Blackest Night (one of these things is not like the others). Jason and Anthony take to comicdom with a hard swing of the plot hole bat... and much more!

This week's featured music is some retro Chaka Khan and her hit single "I'm Every Woman"

Direct Download

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Great IGN Discussion: Should Bruce Wayne Return as Batman?

Today IGN fired up their message board with a question that I've been thinking a lot about: should Bruce Wayne return as Batman? Now we know Morrison's next tale is called "The Return of Bruce Wayne" and that there are going to be about 18 issues, guaranteed, of Dick and Damien as Batman and Robin. But what happens after that? The IGN editors speculate and opine in this article and then open up the forum to us fans. Go have your say, start a flame war, and have (safe, responsible) fun!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Superqueeros! for December 16th, 2009

You know the schtick: I scour the solicitations each week for LGBTT-SAP...etc. characters and you guys make your pink dollar known. Also, you let me know when I've missed somebody and I'll edit the entry faster than Barry Allen on a sugar high!

X-Factor #200

Yes, Mavel has returned to the original numbering for the most awesomest X-title in comics today! So be sure to check out this landmark issue, which just happens to fall a month after the landmark 50th issue! But seriously, Ricstar is the best 'ship out there and Valeria Richards is a kick-ass diva:
we're looking at a win-win book here. Go. Read. Love.

The Authority: Lost Year #4

I don't know much about this book, except that it opens with Midnighter defeating multiple military helicopters, a la Wolverine: Origins. I wonder if they'll talk about how revolutionary the fictional Apollo and Midnighter are now that they've crash landed in the "real world"? Of all the members of the Authority, those two would have actual power and influence in my life. Either way, it's another Authority book!

Dark Wolverine #81 and Dark Avengers #12

Okay, Dark Wolvie's double feature is getting one entry this week. With Siege on the horizon, things are winding down for the evil Avengers. The Wolverine story this week is a one-shot from Ms. Marvel's perspective, so I have no prognostications about its quality. Meanwhile, Victoria Hand, my new favorite evil lesbian (Brand+Hand OTP), gets put front-and-center in this month's Dark Avengers as she bargains with some of the most powerful mystic forces in the Marvel universe for the return of her favourite super-powered employers. In summary: Wolvie looks not seminal, and Dark Avengers is a must for fans of Dormmamu, Enchantress, the Beyonder, and Sappho.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Superqueeros! for December 9th, 2009

Each week we bring you a summary of which new comics are featuring LGBT(etc.) characters! Now, I'm no Amadeus Cho, so I may miss one or two. If you spot an omission, please let me know in the comments section and I'll correct it!

Secret 6 #16
I have no idea what the state of the team is, since none of my comic book stores stocked issues 15 or 16, but I am disproportionately excited about the introduction of Black Alice to the team. I read up on her last week and she is KICK ASS. She's all tortured and dysfunctional and she switches from bad guy to good guy more times than Heroes season three! She's also insanely overpowered and pretty much just plain old insane: BEST. COMBO. Plus, Vandal or Jeanette is sure to be in this issue, so it's LGBT-legit too!

Dark X-men #2
If you read the preview you know that (1) Mystique acting as Jean Grey is an integral part to the plot of this limited series, (2) that kind of makes her whimsically macabre choice of cover identity a plot device, and (3) Mystique has added another tick mark in her tally of X-Men-whose-Mom-I-am. All of which means that this book is going somewhere. And hopefully that place will be dark, morally reprehensible, and warranting a continuing series. Also, HAWT!!

Nation X #1

The first time I read about one of these limited series about the X-characters I thought, "Ugh. Another inconsequential tie-in to sell more crossover books." But that's not what these stories are at all. Sure they end up having something to do with whatever the current crossover is, but the real point of these series is to explore and give the spotlight over to the B and C list X-men. And that means Queer Takeover (and quality character development, blah, blah, blah, ANOLE!!!!!). This issue alone has confirmed, and sometime in this series there will be a more Anole-centric story and even a story! That features his boyfriend! And Colussus is such a beefcake in his story this month! SWOON!

Duet In The Key Of Batshit Crazy

In high school I was bitten by a radioactive debate team captain. The incident gave me the ability to have lengthy arguments with myself about tedious, trivial subjects. This is also known as "youneedtogetafuckingfriend" disease and in most cases is treatable with therapy coupled with actually accepting invitations to social engagements.

Today, I will be discussing (with myself) whether the character of The Alchemist from my (and also my) favorite television show, The Venture Brothers, is a positive or negative portrayal of a gay man in the media. Let me begin.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Scarlet Betch Episode 11: "Don't Ask Don't Boom Boom"

We're back from the Thanksgiving break extra thankful! Lots of comics to cover, including the new Batwoman, New Mutants, Uncanny X-men, Wonder Woman, how hot Luke Cage and Jessica Jones are, and much much more!

Featured music this week is Justice's Ttthhhheee Paarrtttyyy. It's awesome.

Direct Download

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Superqueeros! for December 3th, 2009

Each week we bring you a summary of which new comics are featuring LGBT(etc.) characters! Now, I'm no Amadeus Cho, so I may miss one or two. If you spot an omission, please let me know in the comments section and I'll correct it!
It's pretty slim pickings this week, which is understandable after last weeks feast. We've got, basically, only one title with any front-and-center queers:
The Authority #17
This issue, at least, is homo-centric. Midnighter is back and ready to cure his refrigerated hubbie! And given that someone from the old team is in possession of the vaccine this issue may be a reset button for everyone's favourite deus ex machina superhero team. Either way, this is the end of World's End, which means that I'll be jumping on next month when the book is turned over to a new team and storyline and the Authority once again takes to the Bleed!

Also we have three gay-adjacent titles:
Uncanny X-Men #518
Scott goes spelunking in Emma's brain! I'm UBER excited about this storyline, partly because it means an end to perpetually-diamond-form-Emma. Unfortunately, it looks like Emma doesn't think about her hot male teammates the same way Scott fantasizes about Rogue and Storm jello wrestling in French maid outfits. #dang Also unfortunate: The likelihood of any Anole/Northstar cameos is minimal.

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #1 (of 3)
No one told me that Gail Simone's Greeks were all queers! Its our implicit wonder-lesbian versus her homicide victim Maxwell Lord! Simone's not penning this book, and the scariest thing I can think of Lord doing is reforming his for-hire Justice League, but I have faith that we'll get some good catharsis-battling out of this mini. Once again, queer forecast looking low.

Dark Avengers Annual #1
This issue is also high on my pull list, but it's for the hot art, not any man-on-Wolvie action. Bachalo, whose art I fell in love with when he teamed up with Mike Carey on adjectiveless X-Men, is illustrating this Marvel Boy-centric double-size issue of the Dark Avengers. So even if the view is straight, it won't be a waste. Still, is it too much to hope that MB will decide to go save Kitty and Xavin? I'm really hoping for a way for those two to return to Earth that doesn't involve them joining the Starjammers. #K.R.I.S. #KeepRachelInSpace

In Which Our Anti-Heroine Gets Douched By The Corporate System

You'll have to forgive me for flaking. No, seriously, you have to. Because between the holidays and passing my resume around like it was a Green party pamphlet, I haven't had time for redeeming myself. Or crafting half-decent apologies, for that matter. Mea culpa, punks.

Last week I interviewed for a job testing video games. I figured, if anything, a BA proved I would be capable of two things; tedious, arbitrary busywork, and bitching about shit doesn't work. A background in tech support couldn't hurt either, I thought. If it did, it'd be one of those "good hurts" you get from exercising or giving yourself a black eye to give you an excuse for being late to a meeting.

I arrived at 9:30am to some corporate casual hellhole with unlabeled art on the walls and a clock on a desk that was purely decorative. I hope one day I am important enough to have a lobby full of timepieces that don't work.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Dragon Age: Origins - Humans Top and Elves Bottom

So, I won't deny that a large part of Dragon Age: Origins' squee factor for me was the possibility of getting it on with hot elf assassin, Zevran. What can I say? I always had a thing for Legolas. (I'm also convinced Orlando Bloom only looks good with blond extensions.) While it would have been nice to do Alistair too have multiple male same-sex options, I was quite content with the opportunity to bed and wed the limber elven Lothario.
I had been working up to this achievement for quite some time; carefully selecting the adequate gifts to woo the object of my virtual affection. I even did some research on the correct conversations strings that would unlock the much anticipated man-on-man cut scene. So when I finally accrued enough affinity from Zevran to unlock the key conversation points that would get him into my tent (double entendre intended) I was surprised to discover that my elf mage PC had entirely different sex choreography scripted than the prior human/elf videos I had already seen online.