SuperQueeros! for July 31st, 2013

Thanks to Psylocke's relationship developments, it's lady's week! Valkyrie, Psylocke, Cluster, Bling!, and hopefully... Dr. Riggs?? #fingerscrossed SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Fearless Defenders #7

Valkyrie sets out to bring her girlfriend back from the dead! #Annabelleisawesome

Uncanny X-Force #9

Psylocke is on a quest to put bury her ex-boyfriend-from-whom-her-girlfriend-was-cloned! #parallelism?

X-Men #3

Meanwhile, over in Storm's other team book (the one where she actually appears), Bling! is saving the day, Psylocke is taking on Omega Sentinel John Sublime's sister, and CIPHER COMES BACK MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED YEEEEESSSSSSSS! #OMG # CIPHER

Life With Archie #31

The Mirth scandal erupts and Kevin is caught in it through his association with Veronica!

Morning Glories #29

Evidently this book is coming out this week, not last week. #dontholdyourbreath

Visionary ∆∆∆ Teen Wolf S03E08

This week's recap is a flashback to all the dead people from the last three seasons. Doesn't look good for our character of the week!

Baby Der'

Speaking of, we start on baby Derek runnin' through the woods. He's getting hunted, and those weird dog whistle spikes make a cameo. He runs into an Asian werewolf (!!!!!!!) and... promptly watches him get shot through the neck by Blue Eyes. Another Hale pops up and spirits Derek away from the hunters.

Back in the present day, Cora is telling the story to Stiles. Stiles is all, "Yeah, but that doesn't really explain why he's always grumpy and where he's run off to." Peter wanders in into the room and moans, "Learn why his eyes turned blue and you will learn the truuuuth!"

Meanwhile at Colonel Grandpa's room, Allison brings Scott by. Scott uses his werewolf-y healing powers and Gamps is all, "Okay, I'll talk."

Back in 20??, baby Der is pissing some poor, Allison-looking cellist off with his constant popular boy basketballing (whassup, movie reference!). She goes to get him to stop, he flirt taunts her, then comes into the room away from his buds to apologize a little, and flirt a lot. We learn her name is Paige and she TOTES has a toner (musical boner) for Der-bear.

I can see your toner through your pants.

Back at Gramp's house, Alli tells the Colonel that there was a third doctor murder right after last ep. Like, during the preview for this week's episode. Tigh's all, "That was fast! Sounds totes suspic to moi. Y'all should probs murder the vet, he sounds like he's the Darach and he knew he was gonna get rescued." Then he exposits that he used to have cancer, which is gone now, but he has mysterious black goo running out of his every orifice (ew!). Allison's like, "Ciao, bello. We's going to sleuth where people don't obfuscatingly bitch about their medical conditions." So Gramps hooks her back with "Deucalion: blind, but sometimes... he SEEEEEEES!!!!!"

Back in flashback city we see that the boy who saved Derek from the hunters was his uncle Peter, at which point Stiles and the audience and the writers who didn't want to have to answer the question all ask, "HOW OLD IS EVERYBODY?" Peter is all, "Lawl, non-answer, go worry about who's going to be losing their shirt this ep!" (Editor's Note: Spoilers, it's no one. D:) Then we see that he used to spy all creepy-like on Derek and Paige making out in an "old distillery" (maybe Derek runs a microbrewery for a job!) because he wants to bone his nephew was Derek's "closest confidant".

Derek hears people coming, so the lovebirds exeunt screen right and we transition into Gramps story as baby Deucalion (now with vision!), Cali, and Ennis all enter, alongside their un-murdered packs! Evidently Ennis is totes P.O.'d that the Argents killed one of his Betas and they've all come to talk to the Werewolf Queen who, evidently, lived in Beacon Hills. I'm guessing this is Der's mom.

A black wolf slow motions into the distillery and... it's Talia Hale! (Deuc is totes all boners in when she shapeshifts, btw. He's probs Der's daddy.)

Derek's mom.

Anyway, Ennis does some spiral graffiti on the wall with his claws, I guess thereby declaring war on the Argents? Oh, it means "vendetta". Sheriff Deputy Dad stops Ennis from collecting the body of the Asian werewolf who died at the beginning of the episode because Ennis wasn't legally married to his life partner pack member.

Has gay marriage passed yet in Cali? When is this episode taking place?

We get some more Paige-Derek romance blah and I am beginning to wonder if that girl is not a ghost that haunts the old music room. She is constantly in there practicing, even when Derek is in class (and presumably she should be too), and she's also ALWAYS the only one.

OMIGOSH, Peter is the creepy ex-high schooler that wanders onto campus to talk to teenagers in the past that Derek is today!

Jobs are fer suckahs!

And he does the product placement for that candy that buys a spot in one episode every season! He says that, much like sponsor candy, Derek the Werepup and Paige the Poltergeist are a perfect combo: She's smart and nuts and dead, like peanut butter, and he's alive and a shapeshifting murderer, like chocolate! Aaaaaand then he advises Derek to turn her because otherwise she'll totes mcghost break up with him. #greatuncle

In the present day, Peter is telling Cora and Stiles the exact opposite, that it was Derek's idea to turn her. Back in the truth-y past, Peter's all, "You're mom won't turn her, get Ennis to do it before he leaves!" Baby Blue Eyes and Colonel Gramps find the Baby Druid Sacrificial site. 

Speaking of Gramps, he's telling Alli and Scott that werewolfery got started when Lycaon, King of Arcadia worshipped Prometheus (see: Deucalion's father) instead of Zeus and tried to test the god's omniscience by feeding him... human flesh! Anyway, the big Z turned Lycaon into a wolf. The TV show adds that he did the same to his fifty sons, though Wikipedia tells us that they were all electrocuted, and that however many wolf-y Greeks there were, all of them went to the druids to get some mad shapeshifting so that they could walk around in human skin.

Best Scene of the Episode

Peter adds that packs have emissaries, aka druidic vets, that hang with them and fix their mystical boo-boos. Deaton was the Hales' (and his sister, Ms. Morrell, is the Alphas') and is evidently a very jaded one in the past. He tells Deuc to bring back-up to his meeting with Gerard. 

Back at BH High, "Derek" has asked Paige to meet him in the unlocked hall. And by "meet him in the unlocked hall" we mean "get Ennis to violently attack and bite her, thereby ensuring that she will totes want to be his gf". 

In the present we get Gerard's half of the story of the meeting between Gerard and Deucalion. Just as Deaton used the fable of the "Scorpion and the Frog" to get Deuc to bring back-up, Gramps references the "Scorpion and the Turtle" to justify his paranoid war-mongering.

Gramps tells the Scoobies that it was an ambush, but in reality he set the trap, murdered Deuc's back-up, and stabbed flash arrows into his eyes (but didn't kill him?).

This is more fun than murder!

Paige dies instead of turning, even though Der uses his 'wolf-healing on her. In the end she asked him to eviscerate her to put her out of her misery. And that's how Derek's eyes turned blue, like Peter's are now!

In the flashback, Deaton tells Deucalion that his sight is gone, then Talia and the vet leave the room. "Marco" (Deuc's lieutent?) tells Deucalion that "he is alone" then sucker-punches him? Maybe in some sort of weird bid for Alpha status? Anyway, Deucalion starts to wolf out and thereby regains his vision (He SEEEEES!), then he murders Marco. The Demon Wolf is born!

As Scott and Allison are leaving, Gramps continues to overshare and mentions that he "got the bite to cure his cancer" which is why he and Paige were coughing up the same black tar all episode. Scott reveals that he knew that Gramps was lying throughout the story, and he threatens Gerard before following his ex out the door.

Stiles and Cora discuss how Peter is an "unreliable narrator" (LOL NO KIDDING) and, in our last flashback, Talia finds Baby Derek post-euthanasia and comforts him. In the present, Derek finds Ennis' old vendetta spiral and decides to renew the feud!

Next week: The Darach goes for Lydia and Allison goes for the Darach (Her dad, in her opinion)!

SuperQueeros! for July 24th, 2013

I don't know about you, but I am totes excited for Uncanny Avenger's rebirth of a 'queero! Plus, the next issue of Young Avengers, Morning Glories, and more! Dang, it's a good week to be... SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Uncanny Avengers #10

Look who's baaaack!!! Its Daken!!!! I wonder what his cool new Horseman of the Apocalypse powers will be? Think his pheromones are toxic now? Or his healing factor can turn into a spaceship? Maybe he has projectile claws!!! Anyway, Im pretty sure we won't be getting any assimilationist rhetoric from the son of Wolverine; hopefully everyone else will follow his lead too!

Young Avengers #8

With Prodigy now in tow, the team is ready for their dimension-hopping escapades to begin! The solicit says the "Journey into Mystery fans are going to squee their tiny heads off. I wonder what that could mean for the team's first blunder across space-time barriers?

Morning Glories #29

Now that Casey is back/dead, it's time for a NEW ASSIGNMENT! What is the status quo this season???

A Distant Soil #41

Bringing new (ish) meaning to the word "flamer", this queer-positive book is entering a new chapter. Now that the hierarchy is defeated, the good guys have to navigate a world of factional conflicts. #justlikeSyria :(

Justice League Dark #22

The JLD fights other Justice Leagues in the Trinity War!

Teen Titans #22

The teens fight Trigon in Manhattan!

Army of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash #1

Cassie and Ashley team up to take on the Deadite masses!

Scarlet Betch Episode 75

Hey Betches!

Hi folks! Anthony and I got to record a very special podcast featuring a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE! (In reality we were both in Montreal for a friend's wedding and made our friend listen to us talk about comics). We talk about Astonishing X-men (and how fabulous Marjorie Liu is), Assimilation vs. Co-habitation politics in Uncanny Avengersand Ultimate X-men (that... and the decidedly hentai relationship between Ultimate Rogue and the Sentient Seed *ew*). We also dish about the newest in Young Avengers and how much we love Prodigy! Hope you enjoy! Subscribe to our podcast over at the iTunes site, or download it directly HERE!

Read more »

Currents ~≈~≈ Teen Wolf S03E07

I've got a low-grade fever, but, SPOILERS, I survive this episode, unlike somewolves... Drink some chicken soup, everywolf!!!!

We start with a recap of Werewolf Physics and Torture, so this ep is getting off to a good start! Then we move to Human Anatomy, where Doctor Mom is rushing patients into ER. "I need some lines, stat! (My rent is due!)" Evidently there has been a million-car pile-up and the surgeon is MISSING and- didn't they do this episode last season???

Hey, did you remember that werewolves are evil clerics?! I didn't, but Scott did, so he heals an extra like, "This is normal! Phoenix Down!"

Then Ethan rushes Danny in, all not-visibly-but-mortally-wounded!!!

"Help! He's too hot to touch!

(Also, ignore that head trauma victim, plz)"

The back-up doctor has a NAME (Dr. Hilliard),  LINES and a PLOT?! Last season that woulda meant nothing, but with the new "continuity" thing TWs is trying, THIS COULD BE IMPORTANT! (Spoilers: it's not.)

NP, guyz! Dans was just poisoned with some mistletoe in his... onions and black-eyed peas? Y'all know you stopped shooting this in ATL, raight? Also, isn't that the nifty werewolf-poison we learned about in ep 4? (Yeah, I had to google it too.) So someone thinks Danny is a 'wolf? #foreshadowing? Oh, n/m, Danny is still dying, but Dr. Mom adrenalines him back to the land of the living.

Hot Shirtless (Dying) Boy Count: 1!!!

Dr. Hilliard is killed by butterflies. 

Yup.

So the Darahk uses magic insects to kill. I wonder what those fireflies were for? "The first victim had photoptarmosis!!!!" #TWstyle

Anyway, the butterflies were the teleporting kind, so Dr. H's car rolls driverless into the hospital lot, Scott and Dylan decide the two missing docs are sacrifices, and Sheriff Dad clues us in that they've found a body. 

At the murder scene, Blue Eyes, Deuc, and... Aiden? stand around watching, not suspiciously at all. Well, Deuc listens to Aiden narrate the murder scene because, you know, blindness. Also, I guess that means we know why the twins got hired into the Alpha packed: seeing-eye houseboys!

Derek is sleeping when the Ranger Alert goes off and Alpha 5 and Zordon tell him that he needs to get down the the Angel Grove docks!

Will I ever stop laughing at this?

Cora's like, "Nah, we just got death-threat graffiti'd."

Cute Sleeping Boys Because Dr. Mom Might Be the 3rd Victim.

Jenny-the-Reincarnated-Ms.-Calendar is substituting for the science teacher because all the real substitute teachers are dead, Beacon Hills High's teachers only EVER work half days, and the show ran out of money for incidental characters. Also, this scene has NO relevance to the rest of the episode. Scott gets a call from Dr. Vet who IS THE THIRD SACRIFICE OMG AWESOME.

Soz, Dr. Mom. Better plot next time!

Oh, the Blue and Black Rangers show up to play Home Alone at Chez Hale.

At the vet's office, Scott and Stiles tell Sheriff Dad no clues. Scott's all, "Stiles, you need to come out to your Dad! What will happen when you marry Derek? Will you invite him to the wedding???" Stiles is all, "Okay, let's tell him I'm dating a werewolf!" BUT Ms. Morrell has beaten him to the punch! (Oh, btw, she's Dr. Vet's sister.) She shoos the cops away and tells the boiz, "Use your magichound, DUH!" Then she disappears for the rest of episode. #nicesister

HSBC: 2!

Since Stiles isn't cluing in his dad, Dr. Mom decides to team up with him. She explains how the doctors have died (rope crucifiction). 

At school, Cora pulls the fire alarm to clear all the extras out of the plot, then goes to see Lydia and is all, "Stop boning Aiden or I'll go all demon-wolf on you!" Lyds is like, #notphased, but then Stiles busts in with a oujia board. #notkidding #logic

Scott and Deuc decide to team up to find Dr. Vet by fighting and then sharing a cryptic clue about currents, which is good because Stiles' psychometry experiment (think Longshot's powers) with Lydia isn't working and Stiles is ignoring the fact that his automatic writing experiment did work: Lydia started drawing the tree from episode Danny-in-the-music-room! They go to find the D-dawg himself, and Scott splits off to go get a boner in the closet with Allison. (God I wish I were kidding.)

Also, Allison forgot to change out of her Little House on the Prairie costume. Embarrassment 4totes!

Anyway, Blue Eyes has a secret map of all the sacrifice locations (Spoilers: there are as many sacrifices as Cylons!) , so Scott gets a snap of all the potential drop locations. Stiles steals Danny's report on Darahk Murder Locales (And Deucalion's Cryptic Clue) and the two super-sleuths triangulate.

Back at Power Rangers HQ, Hippie Alpha cuts the power, thereby circumventing all one of the McCulkin-traps. Derek wolfs out, then Cali reveals her plan: the twin(k)s will kill Ms. Calendar unless he agrees to an ALPHA WOLF PUDDLE CAGE MATCH! I guess Jenny knows she boned a dog now!

The Scoobies (Cora, Lyds, Stiles, and Scott) figure out that Dr. Vet is in the vault set on soundstage 2, but then Cora gets a text from Boyd: "Hy grl, ur bro abt to be killd @pimp loft. B thurr or b^2" Scott takes Deaton and Stiles uses his magic Jeep powers to get Cora to the cage match.

At the bank, Deaton is surrounded by ash and Scott goes red-eyed trying to get through the wolf-field. Not sure why he didn't try a broom... Anyway, Sheriff Dad shows up (How? Oh, evidently the bank is a celtic symbol that means "Find the Vet at the Bank") and straight-up shoots Deaton down! Looks like Allison isn't the only Hawkeye on set! Anyway, Deaton tells Scott he's a "True Alpha", so he won't have to kill anyone to go all red-eyed in the finale. **YAWN**

The rest of the Scoobs turn on the power at Chez Hale, but in the ensuing hullabaloo the Alphas force Derek to kill Boyd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No One is Happy About This, TW.

BUT THEN!!!!!!! we get a flashback to Erika (hey grrl!) waxing poetic about some new lunar eclipse plot point making werwolves stronger (Strong enough for Boyd and Erika to pull a Peter Hale??????) before Cali kills her.

At Colonel Grandpa's, Blue Eyes lets us in on the fact that Tigh knows all about the Darahk. Allison busts in when he leaves: "Maybe I can get some relevance to this season now!"

And the preview says... Nope, it's a Cora ep. But Gerard does start talking!

SuperQueeros! for July 17th, 2013

Batwoman!

We've got some great queer comics, plus I've got some queer and queer-adjacent shout-outs! SuperQueeros: all that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, and queer in comics today!

Batwoman #22

The D.E.O. are importing villains to take on Batman. What does that mean for Batwoman and Flamebird? Classic villains smack-down!!!

X-Factor

Invincible #104 

Last issue our happy homos Rick Sheridan and William Clockwell showed up for Angstrom Levy's return. Will the last through his vengeful stay this month???

X-Factor #259

THE TRUTH ABOUT LONGSHOT AND SHATTERSTAR?!?!?! FINALLY???? AFTER 20 YEARS????? YEEEEEESSSSSSSS! (Oh, also I guess this means Ric and 'Star are alive!!)

FF #9

FF

Something about the evil FF attacking the whole Marvel U? Tong has zher work cut out for zher! But first... POOL PARTY!!!!

Uncanny X-Force - OTP!!!

Uncanny X-Force #8

Uh-oh, Cluster and Psylocke do not look like they are getting along... how will they be girlfriends now?????

Prophet #28

The solicit says that this issue focuses on the great granddaddy of the Prophets, so there may not be any John Ka in this issue. But they do give a name to that weird face-frame that so many costumes from the '90s had! They call it a "crown shield". I call it "needs more spirit gum".

Wonder Woman #22

Diana has landed on New Genesis! I wonder if New Gods and old demi-gods mix?

Shout-Outs:

Gunnerkrigg Court #4

If you're not reading this webcomic about precocious lesbians online, then pick up the collected versions! The hardcover for the fourth cycle comes out today, so you have no excuses!

Red Sonja #1

While it's unclear if this book has any queers outright, it is written by Gail Simone and has a variant cover from basically all your fav women illustrators. So if no queer characters are introduced, at least you know it will be awesome!

Happy Kevin Keller Day!

It's Kevin Keller day! 

Archie Comics' record- and pink ceiling-breaking queer is joining the It Gets Better campaign today, and there's so many ways you can show the love for everybody's favorite Riverdale resident!

1. Watch (and thumbs up!) his secret origin story:

After watching that video I was like, "If Dan Parent is this cool, his daughter must be AWESOME!"

2. Re-Tumbl the official posts on the It Gets Better tumblr, or all the Keller-tagged tumblr posts, like this awesome homage a classic Sabrina cover!

It Gets Kevin!!!!!

3. Like his official page on Facebook, or friend an unofficial him! Or, better yet, friend a real life person whose name is Kevin Keller and spread the love!

4. Buy his new book on Amazon! Or, order every single comic of his over at the Archie website!

I love that Kev is front and center!

5. Follow the tweets of the It Gets Better twitter, like this post about Dan Parent's GLAAD media award and acceptance speech!

How to be a real life Superqueero!

What are some ways you can think of to show the Keller love?