The much-hyped viewer discreation plays. This better the most violent hour of television I've ever watched, Teen Wolf!
We start out with a flashback to 1977, where a bloody recent werewolf bite-ee checks into the fabulous Glen Capri motel... and shoots himself when he starts to turn! And as the blood pools around his wallet (which he left lying out so that everyone would be able to identify him?), we see that he is... the long lost
third Summers brother Alexander Argent!!!!! Given his mustache, I'm assuming that he's Colonel Tigh's brother, not Blue Eyes' long lost sibling.
|"THE STARS WILL TURN RED AS MY HURR!"|
- Lydia's vibe
Back in the present day, the cross country meet has culminated in a night in the seedy motel. Coach hands out keys and tell s kids to pair up and NOT have sex. Right. When I was in school we quad'ed up and that was STILL no guarantee! Meanwhile, Lyds is mad vibin'.
Stiles and Scott are pillow talking after their hook-up and discussing Darahk suspects: Derek, Derek, Harris, a kid from school like last season, Cora, Dr. Deaton, and... Lydia! Looks like we'll see if that's the case this episode since the ritual sacrifice tradition is three virgins, three soldiers, and three motel teens! Also, i would like to point out that:
1. That is not nine suspects, so Stiles can't count, and
2. SCOTT HAS NOT SEEN STAR WARS! How is THIS the hero of our show????
Jenny takes Derek back to his place (Bow Chica Wow, Wow!), but he starts to lose consciousness. Don't you get it Jenny, he's not interested! Blue Eyes is piecing together Derek's near fatal mall fight from evidence at the mall.
Back the hotel, the creepies start: Scott is gazing at his face in the mirror when his iris turns Alpha red! Stiles sees a trance-y Boyd take out an uncooperative vending machine. Scott, also in a trance, sneaks into his showering ex's room and tries to get it on! No rape though, 'cause touching Allison snaps Scott out of his freak. Lydia finds out that the motel is know for the most guest suicides in the state and their sitting at 198. Given that Boyd keyed in 201 for his evil snack of evil, I'm guessing that that count is about to jump by three! Of course, given how much Isaac likes watching the static on channels 200, 201, and 202, it looks like somespirits ambitions are on the rise!
Allison tells Blue Eyes that SCHOOL IS PAYING FOR THE HOTEL LOL! He calls her out for keeping secrets, since he totes just found blast debris from her flash arrows. I wonder why no calls her out for the outRAGEOUS lie that school is shelling out cash when there is a perfectly serviceable out of doors to crash in. Lyds remarks that the yearly average suicides at the motel are actually better than would be expected for a motel, then hallucinates a double suicide in the next room, which is being renovated, but still has some creepy-as screaming faces in the wood grain.
|No worries, girl, Cora was dead last season too.|
Boyd is next to hear voices at the ice machine. He thinks he hears "Alicia" and FINDS A FACE IN THE ICE!!!!! Isaac gets bumps in the night, then starts acting out a scene from his abusive past. Lydia and Allison go to the office... and the number has jumped to 201!!!!!!!
Scott gets a call from his mom, who is outside and in Deucalion's clutches. Deuc tells Scott that he's an Alpha, so he's going to kill his whole family then he STRAIGHT UP MURDERS DR. MOM!
Danny and Ethan are hot-as makin' out.
|Shirtless Boy Count: 2!!!|
|This show is my favs!|
Ethan intimates that he's going to be converting Danny, which goes COMPLETELY over our boy's head. Unfort, Ethan's hallucination-induced panic and quick exit do not. Lydia, Stiles, and Allison deduce that the three deaths will be three werewolves (OF COURSE, UGH) and then find confirmation of creepy when the Bible contains newspaper clippings of all the suicides that took place in their room! In their mad dash to escape they find Ethan trying to cut his hallucination out of him with a circular saw! They stop him, and he snaps out, then scoots out.
Jenny and Der talk about how great literature is filled with death, since their relationship is founded on reading alone, and then Jenny's like, "Yo, how you alive, boo?" Der's like, "I got secrets, and I'm dangerous." Jenny's all, "HAWWWWWWT, let's do it."
Boyd's radio starts acting up (where is his roommate, Issac, btw?) and starts playing the police inquisition into Alicia's death. We find out that he accidentally let his little sister drown in an icy pond. Trance Boyd decides to drown himself using a safe as retribution for Alicia
Stiles tells Lyds that he suspects her, while Allison goes to rescue Scott. Lydia hears a baby drowning in the sewers and realizes that someone is about to drown! She and Stiles rush to save Boyd, but without 'wolf strength they're pretty much useless. Stiles gumshoes that heat makes you come back to reality ("Damn, Allison, I think Scott thinks you're hot!" - Teen Wold writers UGH) and goes to the bus to get the flares. Lydia solve the mystery of where Issac is: his hallucination has him hiding under the bed... Nice one, suicide-making-ghost, that will TOTES work 4def. #rollseyes
Anyway, they flare Isaac and Boyd, then go to get the third flare for Scott, Unfortunately, Scott feel WAY bad about not see Star Wars and has decided the only solution is to use said flare for some gasoline-fueled self-immolation! Won't that just snap him out of his trance? And can't 'wolves heal at the speed of plot?
Scott's supes depressed about Big D's "death." Ironically, Big D is putting his D in Jenny's V as McCall emotes his flare off. Oh, and french kissing from Jenny heals Derek's Alpha wounds BARF. Stiles is all Visine tears and Xandering the flare out of Willow's hand, but the suicide ghost starts to push the flair towards the gas puddle and... LYDIA JUMPS AND PUSHES EVERYONE OUT OF THE GAS PUDDLE! Dang, she strong, yo... Plus, in the explosion, Lyds sees a demon straight outta Sunnydale who may very well be our Darahk.
The next morning, Coach tells us that this was the PRE-TRACK MEET camp out (then why was he freaking out about being late last week??????), but the meet has been canceled due to lack of plot. Ethan sits with Scott on the bus!!!! CUUUUTE! He tells him that Big D is alive, killed Ennis, and now either takes Ennis' place in the pack (vers sub) or gets revenge killed!
Lyds has a vision and solves the Three-n Wolf Suicides: the Darahk put wolfsbane powder in Coach's whistle, so every time he blew it in Stiles' face it puffed powder up the noses of his wolf runners! Doesn't explain the 201 though... Oh, and remember that plot thread about Blue Eyes coming to pick up his daughter that NEVER HAPPENED (Good dad-ing, Dad)? Evidently he was too busy waiting at the nursing home to talk to... a black-blood-bleeding Colonel
Tigh Grandpa! Surprising no one, we learn that Alexander Argent honor-suicided because he was bit by... Deucalion. So the Argents are joining Team Teen Wolves!
So I guess the viewer discretion was about all the near suicides? If you're going to put a trigger warning on something, shouldn't you say what it might trigger? Anyway, I did LOVE the ep, and self-harm is terrifying, especially when its characters or people that you care about. And I'm loving that Lydia both cleared her name and solidified her position as psychic loony of the group. Get it, Holland!
Next week we get the vet's secrets and the Alphas come for Big D! Oh, and Scott and Alli make out in a broom cupboard.