Saturday, January 9, 2010

Jetta VsThe Internet: Pixel Force's Left 4 Dead

I'm not very good with making decisions. When going to get ice cream or frozen yogurt, I have to have chosen my flavor before I even get there, or else I will become lost in fixation over the plethora of delicious choices and make my friends late for whatever it is that people with real degrees go to get their bank accounts replenished.

This year, for New Year's, to make the most of my limited decisive capacity, I let my friends make a list of new year's resolutions for me, so that I could make progress with my life and feel like I was achieving some game's objectives. For added measure, I added a few of my own at the bottom, knowing that by the time I sobered up and realized the jagged handwriting was mine, I would already be too excited and involved to talk myself out of it.

#38: Find a weird game on the internet, play it, review it (with numbers), and post a video of you playing it on the web. Every week.


For the sake of brevity, I will only record myself playing it for the first time, until I die/lose/etc. This will keep loading times down, prevent me from shirking even more of my responsibilities, and perhaps entice you to play the game on your own, to see the parts of the game my lack of skills had once kept hidden from you.

So let's begin with what I will call Jetta vs The Internet

Pixel Force's Left 4 Dead

• Yes, I have a RHPS background. It used to be Power Puff Girls. I will grow up on my own terms.
• The controls are all letter keys, which provides a challenge for anyone who's fingers might instinctively drift down to the spacebar or the arrowkeys just out of habit. Or for me, since I'm pretty sure I'm the only person with this problem.
• Are those menacing grimaces or mustaches? Am I fighting zombies or an army of smurf John Stossels?
• Protip: When recording yourself playing a game, don't do it while in the room most frequented by your roommates. DUH.
• Thank you, hunter, may I have another?
• Two player is probably a lot funner, if not easier. Definitely cuts down on the serpentine-ing all over the place. Fun Fact: You need a Numpad to play 2P, so if you're on a laptop you will need to plug in another keyboard or a USB Numpad.
• I tried to melee but I couldn't seem to do it without hurting myself. I also tried winning, but that didn't work either.

Graphics: The playful retro re-imagining only makes the inevitable apocalypse all the more terrifying. 8/10
Sound: Surprisingly the lack of "OH GOD SAVE ME A SMOKER GOT ME" every fifteen seconds did little to diminish my enjoyment.
Gameplay: Almost make me want buy a copy of Left 4 Dead 2. 8.5/10
Replay Value: I need to make a friend so I can play 2P. 8/10
Controls: Stiff, awkward, easy to remember but hard to master. Just like the good old days. 7.5/10
Fresh? Bel Air Certified.

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