Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Chuck Bass Outed, A Million Teenage Girls Weep, while Slash Fangirls Squee!

I admit it. I watch Gossip Girl. It's a terribly cheesy, melodramatic, poorly written soap opera. But it's so pretty! That, and the show's tone is so borderline camp it's hard to look away. It's my guilty pleasure, but I draw the line at the CW's new 90210 or Melrose Place remakes. I may be a trashy TV viewer, but that's plain skankerific.

Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl's resident lothario, has been heating up the tv screens of America with his unbridled sexual appetite and smoldering stares into the camera. Speculation around Chuck's sexuality has been circulating the interwebs for quite a while. The source material casts Chuck as very decisively bisexual, with his closest romantic relationship with another boy, Greg (who also evidently dated Dan for a while too... /dirty thoughts). While Chuck's endless fan base of tween girl might be opposed to this, the dangling carrot of a Gossip Boy three way has been one of the reasons I keep coming back.

Last night's episode of Gossip Girl featured Chuck and Blaire up to their usual antics. The couple play a game where Chuck hits on an unsuspecting girl and Blaire plays the scorned girlfriend. This episode we saw Blaire set Chuck up with NYU administrator, Joe Ellis. Blaire wants to deliver the highly coveted freshman dinner speech and Joe wants to go all smackaroo with Chuck Bass for some kind of bizarre New York scavenger hunt. While I expected Chuck to be all flirty to play Blaire's game, I didn't expect the big reveal afterward!

Blaire inquires on why Chuck is upset at her for being late to intervene in the heavy petting between Joe and Chuck, implying it was because he ended up kissing another boy. Chuck responds "Do you really think that I've never kissed a boy before?"

And with that a reality altering wave swept through the universe causing all tween fangirls to have their squee genes deactivated, causing them all to become rabid slash fanfic writers. That is... if Chuck Bass was Scarlet Witch that is. I'm hoping we'll see more same-sex smoochies from Chuck in the future. Meanwhile, I'll go dust off that Chuck/Dan/Eric/Nate/Scott/Tripp/Rufus/Bart/Russian Doorman slashfic that's been sitting somewhere in my hard drive. Catch the video below.

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